Many regions are starting to re-open after Covid-19 shut downs and plenty of workplaces are taking precautions and… some are not.

When a family member was recently called back to work in the retail industry she was shocked to learn that her co-workers had no intention of wearing masks even though science shows that poorly ventilated indoor spaces, like theirs, carry a high risk of infection — especially to those who have to share that small space for the entire day.

I wasn’t surprised when this person told me, “I’m going to say something, I’ll get up in their faces if I have to!”

I’m all for speaking up and advocating for oneself. It’s what I teach. But I got the sense that this was not going to go over well so I prodded a little more:

ME: What are you going to say to start the conversation?

HER: I’m just going to tell them that not wearing a mask is very selfish!

ME: Ummm, I don’t think that’s going to go over so well. It may be counterproductive. Why don’t we try something else?

Here are the suggestions that I gave her that may work for you in similar situations:

Pause to ask questions

Before you jump to conclusions start by asking a question as simple as “Why aren’t you wearing a mask?” You might clear up some misunderstanding and you could learn something valuable that can help you in this discussion.

You can predict a lot of the potential answers so be prepared. If she or he answers “It’s uncomfortable” then be ready with some empathy: “I hear you, I don’t think anyone finds them comfortable. Can you imagine what it’s like for healthcare workers who wear them all the time?” Empathy is not the same as sympathy. A little acknowledgment will go a long way and getting them to empathize with others can’t hurt.

Use questions to get them to look for alternate solutions. “How else can we protect each other from infection when we’re breathing in the same space all day?” Maybe they’ll have an answer you hadn’t considered. Or maybe they’ll fall flat on their face when they realize there is no better option. It’s better for their ego that they come to that conclusion rather than you shoving them.

If they mention that they’re not worried about it, people are overdoing it or, worse, it’s a hoax, press your mental pause button and keep it together. Remember, reaching out to strangle them will put you at risk of getting sick and potential assault charges. Instead, try more questions. “Who do you know that that is vulnerable (compromised, older, etc)? What about your parents/inlaws/grandparents? Do you know everyone’s medical history in your circle? How do you know who is and isn’t at risk?”

If they say “I’m not sick,” questions are still your best way to call out their weaknesses: “When was the last time you were tested? How do you know you’re not sick without a test every day? How do you know that you’re not one of the asymptomatic carriers? What about the people who live with you-when were they tested? Are they all staying home and socially distanced? So how do you know you haven’t been exposed to something yourself? What about that last customer you served?” Maybe not all of those questions at once but you get the point.

Give them a ‘why’

Think about what life would look like from their perspective if you don’t get what you want: “If I, or any of my family members, get sick I’d be away from work indefinitely. Obviously, I’m trying to stay safe and healthy but I would also hate to see someone else having to pick up my slack.” Then go right back to the questions about what you can both do to keep that from happening: “Tell me, what do you think we can do to prevent that?”

Leverage others

Whenever I’m working with a client, one of the strategies we often talk about is people. Who could influence this person? If you don’t think they’ll listen to you who else can exert some influence? This is especially important if you don’t anticipate having the self-control to do what I outlined above. In my family member’s case we talked about how to have a conversation with their mutual manager and even how an additional co-worker could increase that influence with some social pressure.

Negotiations don’t have to be combative. Implementing a few of the tips above will make it a discussion instead of a boxing match.

Stay tuned for more on negotiating your way through Covid-19. Have a request? Drop a line in the comments.

Fotini Iconomopoulos is an award-winning negotiation consultant, keynote speaker and MBA instructor based in Toronto. She helps everyone from Fortune 500 companies to small business entrepreneurs to achieve their goals. She is regularly featured in the media and her book will be released by Harper Collins in April 2021. Her father unknowingly influenced her career path at the age of 6 when he nicknamed her “the negotiator.” You can learn more about her work and find more of her tips at www.fotiniicon.com.